Here We Go!
Why yes, of course, my imposter syndrome is trying to get the better of me, whispering little mean nothings about how no one will like my artwork, or relate to my weird @$$ doing my do. But you know what? I’m tired of living in fear of my own projections of other’s judgment.
You’re probably a really nice and supportive person. And when I project my fear onto you, I’m being the jerk.
So here we go! I did a tarot spread and was told to call on the wisdom of the Queen of Cups—I felt like that was a positive sign, and I went ahead and did a very dedicated full moon ritual to her and the moon, creating a new tea and spread in my BoS.
I want to say that I’m nervous, but honestly, I don’t feel nervous. I feel ready. I feel like this is the start of a good thing—and I just need to have fun with it! I think I am—the descriptions for things, the design of this shop, ideas and projects I am putting together for it, all of it has been so much fun so far!
I am reminding myself that work for myself is valid work. That I do not need to feel guilty just because I don’t have an overlord watching my every move, micromanaging my time. That even if I have fun with my work, it’s valid!
I can’t believe it. I’ve put all of this together in three weeks. I published my book in that time, too. I am incredibly proud of myself and thankful for my lovely friends and partner and daughter that have been supportive, helpful, and encouraging alongside me.
I love the idea of journaling along with the progress here because in a month, I might be discouraged or I might be incredibly motivated. I’m excited for my future self to read these words and maybe I can motivate or inspire my future self to keep going, to remind myself to ground, to laugh, to make art for fun and post it on Tiktok and make silly videos, to work on illustrating the book for Lizzy and how that helps me feel closer to her as a mother, or just to laugh at myself when I get discouraged and the shop has only been live for a month.
The cards reminded me of Temperance. Mercury Retrograde reminds me to be compassionate with myself. This full moon reminds me that I am capable of doing all of these things and that I am worthy. I am so excited to start this adventure!
Queen of Cups drawing I did with Prismacolors to honor her and remind myself of her magic and energy in this time.
